i'm back.. with a new site!

www.creamcolouredreindeers.wordpress.com

goodbye

after being so hesitant for such a long time, i've decided to move. moved to a better place. it's time for a new chapter to begin. bye blogger. ask for my url and i might give! =P

Instead of finding a way out, focus on finding your way through.

i let my walls come down

HELLO. though exams are not officially over, i'm already in the post-exam mood. all the tough papers are over~. what's left are just physics and chem paper 1 on thu. lucks to all literature students for tmr(: GIYA! okay, i'm falling in love with teenage dream idk why :/ i was procrastinating on tumblr yesterday instead of mugging chem. kinda freaked me out at how some people are actually so ever obsessed over celebrities. O.O was practically screaming over every jonghoon's picture :D chem paper was not as tough as i thought it would be, though there are some which i had no idea how to solve them =/ i didn't even bother to read properties of metals and it piak, right smack in my face. gosh. but again, it's over! so i shall not ponder about it. emath paper 1 was the easiest paper we'll ever have like one in a million years. it's really a blessing to have a manageable after so many tough papers. (: i finished cinderella's sister! like finally, after 6 months =/ the longest drama i ever took. but it's happy ending and thus, it's worth it! can't wait for glee 2 ep 4!

a push over the wall

been thinking a lot recently. i guess you know it. just probably, you don't want to make things awkward and you pretended that you didn't know. maybe i'm being paranoid, but somehow, that's my instinct. i tried imagining life without you, my lack of courage pulled me back. no doubt, i'm hesitant. i no longer want my happiness to be dependent on one person, in which that is you. i don't want you to be the difference that made my mood change totally for the rest of the day. i'm tired of this rollar coaster. but how exactly, am i going to press the stop button? unless, you made me see something worth holding on. show it, tell me, prove it.

again and again

i can't believe that the emath paper was actually so much tougher than the amath paper, or rather, equally tough. chem and math tmr. oh no :/ i think i screwed up all my math papers. oh well, probably this eoy is screwed. felt a lot about today's emath paper. calories + mooncake. WELL DONE.

something 'bout love

hello. i finally downloaded firefox today, after much persuasion from smelly. i guess what's really cool is the theme! not very productive today. webcamming with yapanians now, while trying my best to mug math! it's just 4 more days till eoys are over! totally can't wait :D glee glee glee~

i don't know why, but i feel sad.

expect brings about greater disappointment

HI. had a luxury of 8 hours of sleep. and by the time i realized i had forgotten to tell dance teacher that i was not going for morning class, it was already too late. spent half an hour reading through my diary entries. just felt like doing it. started reading through chem. was absorbing way better, probably because 3/4 of the stress had flown away~ mugging emath now. and i'm tired. can't wait for exams to be over and i'll get my life back. it seems like i've been missing out a lot in life due to exams! ):

little things, one person, can change the mood of someone's totally for the rest of the day. it's just like a rollar coaster ride. sometimes exhilarating, but at times the feeling of crushed is all i get. this ride is never-ending, until the day i pressed the stop button. it's amazing how a text can liven up someone's mood, causing one to smile to him/herself all day. but a text, is definitely capable of making someone in a bad mood for days. this rollar coaster ride is so extreme but i'm hesitant if i should stop it. looking at voucher, then looking at myself, our happiness seemed to be dependent on one person, that one person who can make us happy all day or feeling crushed for days. i kept asking myself what i should do, i kept asking voucher what he/she intend to do. and we ended up with the same answer- i don't know, nth. letting nature takes its course is good. but is there anything, anything for us to hold on to so tightly? probably it all comes down to one word - happiness. because of all the good memories, because of all the happiness we once felt, that is the only thing that made me hesitant. whether i let go or hold on, there's still a million of what ifs running through my head. thought of scaling walls suddenly. the fear of losing all these happiness is the wall i faced now. how am i going to get over this wall? a little push wouldn't do, i'm at the bottom, staring up at the endless top. i grew scared. afraid that determination would not pull me through. voucher, you aren't right that mine turn out better than yours. because mine is equally bad. so don't worry, you're not alone.

building up walls around us

inspiring book. strongly recommended! :D

dependent

Dear Sun,


Moon here, what’s up? You’ve been looking good, have you been losing helium? I’ve been doing well, just the usual I guess… changing tides, getting howled at and the like. You know, you’d think after being around for so long people would find something else other than cheese…. seriously now, why cheese? Something not dairy based and preferably not edible as well would be awesome, thanks.
Anyway, I guess there is really no need to ask how you are; you’re always great. Center of attention, incredibly hot, not to mention all that energy you have… it is no wonder people worship you.
I guess you don’t really know what its like to be me. To have your entire existence resolve around something else, to have your importance lessened by bigger things around you. To only be as important as a reflection of light that’s not even your own. You’ve never been anything but a star, what do you know about being dull like me?
Let me tell you… it sucks. I’m so tired of constantly being overshadowed and being second best. I’m really jealous of you, actually. I wish I were you. For once, I want to know what it’s like to shine, completely on my own. I want a day of the week dedicated to me. I want to be a god. I guess I just hate that without you, I don’t matter to people. You don’t really need me, but I need you, and that hurts.
But it’s okay… I suppose it’s just not written in the stars for me. I guess I’m still celestial, so it could always be worse. I just want something more.
Well anyway, sleep tight. I’ll catch you later.
~ Moon

* * * * * * *
Dear Moon,
You don’t get it do you? How can I be the Sun without the Moon?
Of course I need you.
~ Sun

moral of story: every man on this planet needs someone else to rely on. "life's too hard to face it alone. you gotta start believing in something"- glee 2. a belief is all we need and that's when our dreams begin.

back in the past

ooVoo~ and this is how 02 people bond back together! :D it feels as if exams are over. but no, back to reality, they are not. hang in there! it's gonna be over soon~

hello. i don't hate human geog now. in fact, i'm relying it more than my physical. such weird things happen at times i guess.

trust yourself

i will bounce back. maybe not tmr, maybe not this eoy, but one day. i will.

i never felt so demoralized over exams.