life is full of ups and downs. and what happened today makes me thought of the past. an sms made me think alot. and it occur to me that "it was 99.9% obvious that he didn't like me. but it was that 0.1% that gave me hope and kept me from moving on" holding on to that 0.1% till the very last second. and that sms was "don't tell me to give up when there's still hope" last year, i was the victim, the abondoned one. this year, i was stuck in between 2 friends, a bystander. and both the rejected one and the person who reject are both my good friends. obsession. how much does the meaning behind it holds? "i'm sad, yet happy, sad because we're just friends, happy, because you didn't avoid me" sadly, this does not apply to me anymore. i don't mind people knowing about the past of mine but i just hoped and prayed that whatever he did to me will never happen to anyone, any of my friends, anyone in this world. that hope was crashed just like a fragile glass and it transformed into tears/disappointment immediately. i once ponder about what's exactly the use of confession. and today, i finally understood. to me, confession is just to know how someone feels towards you, and sometimes it may be a sign of letting go. it may not be the perfect answer and i'm definitely still trying to find out what it truly means. but still, life goes on. and, LENG EE-IAN'S GONE):
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