hopeful or joyful, or none?

I could go back to every laugh,

But I don't wanna' go there anymore

And I know all the steps up to your door,

But I don't wanna' go there anymore.

Talk to the wind, talk to the sky,

Talk to the man with the reasons why,

And let me know what you find.

I’ll leave my window open,

'Cause I’m too tired at night to call your name.

Just know I’m right here hopin’,

That you’ll come in with the rain.

I could stand up and sing you a song,

But I don’t wanna’ have to go that far.

And I, I’ve got you down,

I know you by heart,

And you don’t even know where I start.

Talk to yourself, talk to the tears,

Talk to the man who put you here,

And don’t wait for the sky to clear.

I’ll leave my window open,

'Cus I’m too tired at night to call your name.

Oh, just know I’m right here hopin’,

That you’ll come in with the rain.

I’ve watched you so long,

Screamed your name,

I don’t know what else I can say.

But I’ll leave my window open,

'Cus I’m too tired at night for all these games.

Just know I’m right here hopin’,

That you’ll come in with the rain.

I could go back to every laugh,

But I don’t wanna’ go there anymore…

the burden is getting heavier and heavier. the stress level is rising higher and higher. and as time tickels away, i'm becoming a marginal person. someone pls wake me up from this nightmare. and though people tell me not to think so much, it's uncotrollable.i don't want a de javu. people tell me not to care about what others said. yea, saying is beautiful but doing is difficult. but i'm not the girl from the play silly litte girl or funny old tree, nor am i the little boy from day i met the prince. individuality. i can't find that word inside me. motivation. it's gone to -100. braving a smile, will i be able to overcome those obstacles in front of me? a voice inside me is pushing me forward. but how long can i survive this? with a pirouette and ending with an arebesque, will this story end with a tragic or happy ending?