expect brings about greater disappointment

HI. had a luxury of 8 hours of sleep. and by the time i realized i had forgotten to tell dance teacher that i was not going for morning class, it was already too late. spent half an hour reading through my diary entries. just felt like doing it. started reading through chem. was absorbing way better, probably because 3/4 of the stress had flown away~ mugging emath now. and i'm tired. can't wait for exams to be over and i'll get my life back. it seems like i've been missing out a lot in life due to exams! ):

little things, one person, can change the mood of someone's totally for the rest of the day. it's just like a rollar coaster ride. sometimes exhilarating, but at times the feeling of crushed is all i get. this ride is never-ending, until the day i pressed the stop button. it's amazing how a text can liven up someone's mood, causing one to smile to him/herself all day. but a text, is definitely capable of making someone in a bad mood for days. this rollar coaster ride is so extreme but i'm hesitant if i should stop it. looking at voucher, then looking at myself, our happiness seemed to be dependent on one person, that one person who can make us happy all day or feeling crushed for days. i kept asking myself what i should do, i kept asking voucher what he/she intend to do. and we ended up with the same answer- i don't know, nth. letting nature takes its course is good. but is there anything, anything for us to hold on to so tightly? probably it all comes down to one word - happiness. because of all the good memories, because of all the happiness we once felt, that is the only thing that made me hesitant. whether i let go or hold on, there's still a million of what ifs running through my head. thought of scaling walls suddenly. the fear of losing all these happiness is the wall i faced now. how am i going to get over this wall? a little push wouldn't do, i'm at the bottom, staring up at the endless top. i grew scared. afraid that determination would not pull me through. voucher, you aren't right that mine turn out better than yours. because mine is equally bad. so don't worry, you're not alone.