cold as you

i told myself not to look. i told myself not to hear. i told myself not to care. but i can't believe that did those things i told myself not to. i don't know what my heart wants now. i thought i had no more feelings but guess what? i was utterly wrong. if i do not have feelings, why would i mind that truth so much? if i do not have feelings, why would i cry so hard? people out there are trying to knock some sense into me. and it's not that i don't want to forget but it's never that easy. i don't deny that i'm reluctant and i thought my heart no longer beats for you anymore. once again, i'm very wrong. i really have no idea why my heart hurts so badly when i cried. i don't understand why you can still be friends with her yet i can't. i'm the first girl who likes him, i'm the first girl whom i actually confessed to him, i'm the first girl whom he has hurt and the impact is that much. what is wrong? and really, i am that upset. and the sadness inside me is beyond words. i really don't understand why you just can't accept me for who i am. i'm sad, i'm furious, i'm pissed off, i'm disappointed. i know you don't give a damn about me anymore. but as i walked past you everytime, we couldn't say hi but walking off is what we did. ignoring my presence everytime we came face to face. somone actually told me that we have fate but i told her " i think otherwise. if we have fate, why wouldn't us be friends anymore? if we have fate, we wouldn't even be in this state at all." i would really not know the truth but i know that sooner or later i would still know from someone, somewhere. your hurtful actions and words have no more impact on me anymore and yes, that is a bad thing. as i hear this song, it just reminds me of you. treating me like this doesn't mean you can treat other people that way. you will never feel the hurt because you've never gone through this kind of pain. so, probably, one day, you will know once you get into this pathetic state.

You have a way of coming easily to me

And when you take, you take the very best of me

So I start a fight cause I need to feel something

And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day

Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say

And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through

I've never been anywhere cold as you

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray

And I stood there loving you and wished them all away

And you come away with a great little story

Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day

So Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say

And now that I'm sitting here thinking it throughI've never been anywhere cold as you

You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you

And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you, died for you

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day

Oh Every smile you fake is so condescending

Counting all the scars you made

Now that I'm sittin here thinkin it all though

I've never been anywhere as cold as you